


Subway

by Aya Ravensong (thMaddHatter)



Category: Buzzfeed The Try Guys (Web Series)
Genre: #TryGuysEatSandwiches, Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Space, Character Study, F/M, M/M, Mars, One-Sided Attraction, Post-Apocalypse, Prostitution, Slice of Life, Sort Of, Subway is a brothel, The Try Guys, Zach POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 15:02:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15709623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thMaddHatter/pseuds/Aya%20Ravensong
Summary: #tryguyseatsandwichesThey started it...Keith wanted them working at a Subway, and sandwiches are a metaphor for sex soooo...First draft, unbeta'd.





	Subway

**Author's Note:**

> I started this with the intention to make it the funniest thing I could think of, but I got a little carried away...
> 
> Literally, they started it, tho. Don't blame me.

Zach was lounging in the parlor, draped over a settee. He was staring wistfully at the  landscape of red hills framing a black and star speckled sky through the heavy paned window. No matter how many times he looked at the sprawling peaks and plateaus, he could never get used to it.

He made it. He escaped the hellhole small town he grew up in back on earth and made it to the Mars colonies. For what must have been the thousandth time, he silently thanked Elon Musk for his contributions to space exploration over a century ago. After a tough life of barely scraping by in the toxic wasteland that was earth, living in the genius-billionaire's-dreams-come-to-fruition was an absolute paradise.

Of course, it hadn't exactly come about in the manner that Zach had wanted. He never planned to be working in a sandwich shop. But honestly, who ever really did? Selling his sandwiches for money had been an act of desperation. What exactly else was he supposed to do to make it here? Pay the ridiculous prices to take a shuttle?

He scoffed aloud at the thought. He had no money in those days. But he did have what Keith had once referred to as "a tiny, fuckable body." Apparently, that was in high demand on Mars.

But honestly, being a sandwich artist wasn't so bad. Sure, dealing with what seemed like an endless line of customers and being reduced to a slice of pastrami tucked neatly between two slices of whole wheat bread wasn't glamorous. But it did have its perks.

The Subway that he lived in with the other sandwich artists was absolutely lavish. His home was a virtual palace. He got to eat as much of the rich and delectable food as he wanted. He even got his own room filled to the brim with modern technology and luxuries that his jaded mind could never have thought up. Only the best for the franchise's employees.

Decadence was a foreign concept on Earth. Anything more than the bare minimum required to sustain life was a privilege that very few earned.

So what if he had to sell a few sandwiches for it? 

Another of the Subway's perks walked into the parlor, breaking Zach from his train of thought. He couldn't help it.

Eugene Lee Yang was the most beautiful person he'd ever laid eyes on, even when he was just breezing by in dark grey onesie pajamas. He had a certain magnetism to him that just drew a person in. Zach couldn't identify what it was, but he knew it wasn't in his head. Even their manager noticed it, raising Eugene's prices thousands above the rest, and only booking him for half the sessions. His beauty and charm made his sandwiches a customer favorite, being the only sandwich artist to be asked for by name on a regular basis.

Eugene rarely ever gave Zach the time of day. Even then, he just glided elegantly past with only a glance. Still, Zach had managed to develop a bit of a crush on the man. It hardly mattered. Even if Eugene did pay any attention to Zach, he would absolutely destroy him in a relationship. Sometimes he wasn't entirely sure he would have minded.

He had at least made some good friends. Keith was a tall drink of water. Until he opened his mouth. He was an absolute goofball and the friendliest guy Zach had ever met. He was very handsome, but most of his clients chose him because of his personality.

It had initially been offputting to Zach. No one on Earth was ever friendly. But Keith grew up on the Ganymede colony. Apparently people were kind there. Zach couldn't relate.

There was also Ned. He took a little warming up, but he was eventually just as friendly as Keith, though perhaps a bit less funny.  He was also whip smart. Zach often found himself wondering how such an intelligent person wound up working at a Subway, but he could never bring himself to ask, not wanting to invade the other man's privacy.

Being a sandwich artist wasn't a typical career. Everyone there had some type of story to tell.

Unexpectedly, Keith plopped down in the arm chair across from Zach's settee, smiling amicably at him. He was mostly naked, wearing only a blue pair of silk boxer briefs, but Zach was used to it by now. He was living in a Subway, afterall. Everyone was always in some manner of undress. He himself was only wearing gold briefs with a Versace robe over it.

"There's fried chicken in the kitchen," Keith announced, biting into a drumstick and moaning as if it was better than all the sandwiches he'd made that day. It probably was. "I'd hurry and get some cause it ain't lasting long," he warned, mouth full.

Zach chuckled at his friend. "I'd better go grab some then." He stood up and turned toward the kitchen, almost sad to say goodbye to the Martian landscape outside the window. He hurried across the parlor and through the halls, following the smell of the coveted chicken.

He came up right behind Ned, who was standing at the counter and engrossed in a story of one of his regular customers that he was telling to Eugene. He always had stories about this customer, Ariel. Ned was a little obsessed with her to be honest, but it seemed to be mutual as she often booked him just as an opportunity to talk to him. 

Eugene smiled at the story from where he was perched on a barstool, unable to stifle his laugh even as he took a graceful bite of his chicken. He smiled with his whole face and it was enamoring. Every movement was executed with poise and finesse.

Okay, Zach might have just been projecting. There really isn't an elegant way to eat fried chicken. But if anyone could pull it off, Eugene would have been the first.

Zach blinked the image of Eugene's mouth out of his head and continued to the bucket on the counter, making himself a plate stacked high with drumsticks he intended to deliver to Keith.

"And then her face goes red as the blanket." Ned's story was wrapping up. "And, she just stares at me for like three seconds, then she books it." Eugene laughs so hard at this that he almost starts choking. Even Ned starts to laugh a little. "She freaking runs out of the room" he continues, "and I'm just standing there like... what?" He lifted his arms in mock confusion, looking around the room as he reenacted the original scene. "What?" He shrugged his shoulders dramatically. "I mean, wait... WHAT?" Ned devolved into cackles at the memory.

"Ariel again?" Zach asked.

Need nodded. "Yup."

"Well don't worry about it," Eugene offered, still smiling. "After that, you probably won't ever see her again."

"Aw, but I like her."

"Are you kidding me?" added Zach. "She's obsessed with you. She'll be here next week like always."

"I sure hope so!"

"She's crazy. I think she wants to marry you."

"Oh god, what would that be like?" Eugene asked rhetorically.

"Well, come on," Ned defended his favorite customer. "She's a sweet woman. We would have a wonderful marriage. We'd have a dog named bean send a son named Wesley."

"Really?!" Keith barged into the kitchen to discard his plate. "You've already named your children?"

"No!" defended Ned. "Only one of them!"

"You're done for," Eugene scolded. "Rule number two: don't develop feelings."

Zach turned to Keith while Ned and Eugene kept talking. "I was about to bring you more chicken."

"Aw," Keith whined. "I'd love it, but I just got a last minute call for Becky. Don't want to be too gassy." He patted his belly for emphasis. "I love fried chicken, but all that grease does not love me."

"Wait, you said Becky?" Zach asked in disbelief. "The same Becky?"

"The very one," Keith agreed smugly.

"Wow. That's three times this month. She must really like you."

"Um, of course she does," Keith teased. "Everybody likes me. Who wouldn't love this adorable face?" He waved a hand around his head regally. 

"Its a face only a mother could love," Eugene cut in, eliciting laughter from all four of them.

"Oh please." Keith brushed past Eugene, shoving him playfully. "We all know I'm the star here." He brushed invisible bangs out of his face. "We might as well rename this place Beautiful Keith," he swung a hand through the air as he imagined it in lights, "and the rest." The quartet devolved into laughter at Keith's antics.

No, being a sandwich artist was not a glamorous life. There were times when it was downright terrible. But even those days were an improvement from Zach's life on earth. And it was all made better by the friends he was able to make. They had taught Zach the valuable lesson that it's not the places you go, but the people you meet that really matters.


End file.
